


How will I know

by riverwriteskinda



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24406114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riverwriteskinda/pseuds/riverwriteskinda
Summary: Sergio's time in Palawan before Raquel's arrival.
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44





	How will I know

His head felt like what could only be described as a thousand elephants doing the merengue on his cerebellum. He couldn't even properly open his eyes, feeling a splitting ache rip though his brain every time he dared to. Sergio rubbed his temples, promising himself he'll never drink that much ever again. His throat felt like it had been filled with cotton balls and he couldn’t even think clearly as he forced himself to open his eyes once more and reach for the water bottle on his nightstand. It slipped right through his fingers and fell with a thunderous sound, making the man grimace as needles were piercing through his head. He gave up and buried his face in a pillow, cursing under his breath. _I’ll never drink again,_ he repeated, remembering the previous night. He wouldn’t normally drink, but last night alcohol seemed to be the only solution to stop his relentless thoughts, his worry, his pain. An entire year had passed ever since he lost his brother, one year since he was left all alone to deal with his grief, ever since life had lost all meaning. One full year and zero signs from Raquel.

  
_Raquel_. 

  
His eyes darted around the room, searching for the clock on the wall, suddenly remembering he had to be somewhere, the same place he always was every single day for the past twelve months. The bar he was supposed to meet Raquel at, when she would finally arrive to Palawan. _If she will arrive to Palawan_ , Sergio corrected himself.

As hard as he tried to remain optimistic about this whole situation, he needed to remind himself that one entire year passed. By now, she would’ve definitely found the coordinates on the back of the postcards he had left for her... Maybe she didn’t want to see him.

Even worse, maybe she hated him, but judging by the fact that his hands weren’t in handcuffs, he still allowed himself to hope. Maybe she was finishing off the things in her life, preparing to join him here. _Maybe_.

However, the chances of her arrival were smaller and smaller with each day that passed. Some rational part of his mind kept telling him to give up, to accept that she wasn’t coming and move on, but he couldn’t. _She’ll come. She has to._

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, arranging his messy hair, he felt so foolish, so stupid. _How did this happen?_ He had always been independent, never needing anyone else, but this time around something was different. _He_ was different and he needed Raquel just like he needed oxygen to survive. He was miserable without her by his side, without her touch, without her smile. He wanted to see her little face so badly, to kiss her soft lips, to run his hands thorough her hair, to make her scream with pleasure… But what if she never found the coordinates? What if she threw the postcards away as soon as she found them, without taking another glance in their way?There were so many possible scenarios, one worse than the other. 

He grabbed a grey blazer from the hanger and walked out of the door, breathing in the fresh air, hoping it will clear his mind and calm the loud throbbing of his heart. Involuntarily, he looked over his shoulder as he stepped on the burning sand, spotting the room in which Andrés was supposed to stay. His heart crumbled to the ground each time he passed by it, being brutally reminded of his brother's painful absence. His possessions were all inside, untouched, the exact way he had left them. Sergio couldn’t get himself to even enter the room, still unable to accept the fact that his brother was no longer here, no longer _alive_. The thought of never seeing him ever again was daunting, but it was the harsh reality he had to accept, sooner or later. Only he couldn’t do it on his own.

  
Sergio watched as the waves washed upon the shore, his lips slowly growing into a broad smile on his tired face. He shut his eyes tightly, listening to the gentle sound of the sea, letting himself get lost in the warmth of the sunshine and the beauty of this exotic paradise. He felt at peace for less than a minute, as his mind raced back to her. Now, all he could think of is how much he wanted for her to see this, to be here with him, to share this view with her. 

  
His blood boiled at the image of her in a bikini, running on the coastline as the waves stretch out, brushing her tender skin. He could almost hear her call out his name, begging him to join her. He wouldn’t need more than a second to obey and sprint in her way, splashing water into her gorgeous, long hair. She’d squeal and laugh and wrap her hands around his neck and press her lips against his and… 

Sergio’s eyes were full of tears, frozen in place, gazing at the waves blankly. Raquel wasn’t here and the man doubted she’ll ever be. All he wanted was to see her once more. _Once_.

He only had one picture of her, the one he stole from the house in Toledo before the police got there. He had it in his nightstand for the times when it all became too unbearable, too much, for the moments in which the distance and uncertainty suffocated him, overwhelmed him, shattered him. 

  
Lately, he’d stare at the photo every night before managing to fall asleep. 

  
He stumbled over his feet, dragging himself to the bar once more. He didn’t even need to say a word to the bartender, he already knew his order.

It was always the same. Two glasses of red wine, one for him and the other for Raquel. But she would never come and he’d end up drinking the second glass, too. Along with a few others. 

  
He wondered what the bartender thought about this habit of his. Was he laughing at him, pitying him, joking about him with his colleagues? Sergio wouldn’t condemn him if he did. He’d laugh, too. 

  
“Is this seat taken?” He heard a shy voice coming from behind him and Sergio didn’t even bother to turn and look at the woman awaiting his answer. He just nodded mindlessly, playing with the liquid in his glass.

She sat by his side and ordered a cocktail, glancing insistently at him. “Still waiting for her, hmm? I thought you said you’d move on with your life.” Sergio’s eyes rocketed up, meeting the stranger’s brown chocolate eyes. The woman was smirking smugly, satisfied she finally caught his attention. 

He analyzed her for a second, gazing at her blonde, wavy hair resting just above her bare shoulders and porcelain-looking skin. He had no idea who she was. “Sorry?” He mumbled, placing his drink back on the table to take a better look at her. His confusion seemed to upset her and the man could only watch as her seductive smile twisted into a disappointed frown.

  
“You don’t remember me.” She said, scratching her arm nervously. “We talked last week. Well, you were quite drunk, but I hoped you’d remember me…” Her voice trailed off and she ran a hand through her stunning hair, sighting. _One more reason for him to never drink again._ What else did he share with this stranger? “You’re wasting your time, Sergio. She won’t come.” 

  
And the sad truth was that she was right. “I’m beginning to see that.” He muttered, emptying his glass. He hadn’t even properly sobered up and he was drinking again. He was a mess. 

  
“Then what are you still doing here?” The woman asked, tilting her head to the side.

  
_What was he still doing here?_

  
“I love her.” Sergio felt like the silliest person in the world for confessing his feelings to a complete stranger. Had he lost his mind? _Probably_. But it didn’t matter whether or not he had lost his mind, that was still the truth. He really loved Raquel. So painfully much. “And if there’s even the slightest chance that she will come, I’ll take it. I’ll wait for as long as it takes because I love her. I need her.”

  
Sergio sighed, looking over his shoulder at the cheerful group of people dancing on the sand. It’s been so long since he danced, but maybe for good reason. He was _awful_ at it.

 _Andrés_ was always the one who would get him to dance. And then make fun of him. Sergio would give everything for one more silly moment with his brother, just one more fit of laughter, _one_. 

  
He couldn’t even remember how that felt. How _happiness_ felt. When was the last time he had been truly happy? His mind was so blurry, so heavy, so cloudy, he couldn’t even think. It was all so distant, so far away that he started doubting he’s ever felt true happiness. 

  
“And she’s all I have left.” He finally added, the truth hitting him like a truck. He had no one else left, no place to go, no meaning, no purpose. 

  
_She’s all I have left_. 

"Or don't have." He continued, placing a few euros on the table and standing up. "If you'll excuse me..." He didn't wait for her answer and just walked away from the bar.

Yet another day had passed and he was still there, waiting. Having no clue whether or not his waiting was in vain.


End file.
